Wow....it has been almost one year since I last posted. I have so many things on my mind. The past two years have been hard for me in so many different ways.....but God's grace is always, always sufficient! He carries me through. Today has been a very reflective day for me and I am remembering a time long ago when I was a single mom with 2 small children....so hard and yet such a blessing. Exhausting, but blessed. It was so hard to be so young and have two small children when your husband tells you that he just cannot handle the responsibility of a wife and two children.....sometimes I think "gee, could you have told me that a little sooner"......then I know that without those two small children in my life...well, it would not have been my life. For as long as I can remember all I truly ever wanted was to have a house full of children. I did the best I could with little income but lots of energy. Did I make mistakes? You bet I did....but I have raised some very "wise beyond their years" children. Even my 8 year old has been described as an "old soul". I kind of like the term. When I look back at my mistakes, I see the worst one that I made was trying so hard to be a mother and a father to my two small children. You cannot replace what is missing in their lives no matter how hard you try. When they were small, I overheard one of them talking and saying "I wonder what Daddy is getting me for my birthday?" I knew the answer....so I wrapped a gift and put "love, Daddy" on that gift. It was the best gift they received....because their Daddy loved them and cared.... Their Dad did love them, but did not know how to show them that love.....even in something as small as a token gift for their birthday...the gift that says "I remember the day you were born and you are so very special to me." I let them get away with things that I should not have because I felt sorry for them having an absent parent. If there is one thing I can tell you today is when Dad is absent (whether Job or Divorce or for any reason)....stay strong and discipline your children. Yes, you have to be the tough one. You are the one there. Yes, you get tired, but when they have behavior issues at school, at home, and at church.....discipline them. You have no choice and they will eventually respect you for your decisions. Tough love is a tough term, but when dad is absent for whatever reason, Dad doesn't want to discipline them...he doesn't want to be the bad guy, and truth be known he probably feels guilty for "not being there" so the last thing he wants to do is discipline them. Be strong Mom, keep them busy, love them, hug them, but keep them in line. Do bible studies with your children, do daily bible verses with them, pray over them and with them daily. The Lord will provide not only strength for you, but a God fearing child who will one day appreciate his/her Mom on a higher level than you can imagine. Love the Lord God with all you strength, your might, your heart, and your soul....
Have a truly blessed day
